I Replaced My HR Department With A Google Form

Let me describe the modern HR department. It is a CATHEDRAL.

Six people. ZERO P&L. Annual budget bigger than my engineering team's AWS bill.

Every one of them carries a certification NOBODY asked for.

They do not hire. Recruiters hire. MANAGERS fire.

They do not negotiate pay. Comp consultants negotiate pay. What DO they do?

They "BUSINESS PARTNER." That is a verb now. Entire ladders of people whose only output is having a one-on-one about my one-on-ones.

My head of People had a direct report titled "People Experience STRATEGIST." Let that land.